Ok, I may have oversimplified, but at least I caught your eye. We covered discipline for two weeks and how to teach your kiddoes about Jesus with our guest speaker Michele Stamm from Family Time Ministries.
The gist of Christian discipline is not spanking, contrary to what the world would have you believe. What separates Christian discipline from the rest of the world is the motive. We are not interested in having kids who act like good kids, although I freely admit to being willing to settle for that on a lot of days. We want kids who do right because they have a relationship with Jesus and want to please Him above all else.
Think back to when you were a kid, or maybe even to more recent events. You behaved in a way that was expected, but in your head you were rolling your eyes, whining, and counting the minutes until you get could out of the situation. Your heart was not in the behavior at all, but anyone who looked at you had no idea what was going on under the surface. That is the goal of worldy discipline in a nutshell: everyone conform to an expected set of behaviors so we can all be happy.
The desired behavior is usually achieved through a series of negative and positive sanctions: time outs, consequences, and physical punishment. There is no heart change here.
Christian discipline takes a multi-faceted approach. Naughtiness is referred to appropriately: sin. No excuse is made for the little darlings. Although being over-tired and hungry may predispose them to bad behavior, it is not sugar-coated. Hitting your brother is not kind and Jesus wants us to be kind to one another, even when our tummies are hungry. Naming the offense as sin has the benefit of your child realizing they are a sinner and in need of the saving grace of God. Through consistently applied teaching and training, a discipleship of your child in the ways of the Lord, and the work of the Holy Spirit, your child will, over time, develop a heart that is sensitive to God.
This would be a good time to insert the scripture "Do not grow weary in doing good, for in time, you will reap a harvest of righteousness. (Galatians 6:9). This is not magic and it is not easy. You must be aware of your own motivations and desires before you can effectively train your kids. This is why we covered the tree in our opening lesson. Your next step, the one that may take the next ten years, is to help your kids discover their roots and deal with them in a godly manner.
Grace and reconciliation are key to disciplining kids in a godly manner. We don't hold grudges our remind them of how many times they've committed the same offense. We don't belittle them. At the end of a "training opportunity", we teach them to seek forgiveness from God and the person they've sinned against. Both parties, the offender and the offended, learn about forgiveness. Sometimes it is just as hard to give as to ask.
In preparation of our lessons, I leaned heavily on Ginger Plowman's book Don't Make Me Count To Three. It is an easy read but with a depth of knowledge that is profound in its simplicity. She clearly defines why Christian discipline is the only thing that will lead our kids to repentance and a right relationship with God. She offers solutions and examples that are easy to relate to, and encourages parents to not give up. In case you missed the announcement, Mom Time has ordered copies of Wise Words for Moms (the one that Kim shared) for everyone.
Discipline is not all about punishment, but teaching and encouraging as well. Michele Stamm shared her resources from Family Time Ministries and showed us some fun activities to do with our kids to make the gospel come to life. There are manuals full of activies on the website geared to all ages of kids. If you need some help with this, and who doesn't, check out the website. You can also sign up for activities to be emailed to you on a quarterly basis.
Raising our kids is nothing to be taken lightly; it is also nothing to freak out about. God has not left us to wander blindly. Be diligent, consistent, and loving. You can do this. Here are links to two handouts that may help you in your journey. One is Reasons You May Be Screaming At Your Children and the other is To Spank or Not To Spank.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
I Can't Help It...
The short answer to that statement is "Yes, you can."
The longer answer, the answer that takes time to explain and implement, is that everything we do, say, and think, flows out of what we believe to be true. The tricky part is figuring out what is actually going on under the surface.
I want you to picture a fruit tree. The fruit is the evidence of what kind of tree you have growing. Our tree is sustained by roots that dig deep. Our heart is contained in these roots, and as Luke 6:45 tells us, it is out of the overflow of the heart that the mouth speaks.
The anger, fear, or bitterness that sneaks out of our mouths reveals what is really going on inside our hearts. We need to examine our behavior, thoughts, and actions from the viewpoint of Christ. In John 15:5, He tells us that apart from Him we can bear no good fruit. Sounds a little far-fetched, because we like to think we are in complete control. Sometimes complete control is actually complete denial.
Apart from Christ, we can try and try but we can't change our hearts ourselves. It is the relationship with Jesus Christ that changes us from the inside out; the process requires our reaching to Him, but He does the work. An obedient heart and openness to something that may be contrary to what we believe to be true may be necessary for His fruit to bloom in us, but it will bloom.
As you evaluate your own words and actions, what do they say about the real you? What do you really believe about the people and world around you, about yourself? Before you say "That's just the way I am", offer your heart to Jesus and ask Him to change it, from the inside out.
The longer answer, the answer that takes time to explain and implement, is that everything we do, say, and think, flows out of what we believe to be true. The tricky part is figuring out what is actually going on under the surface.
I want you to picture a fruit tree. The fruit is the evidence of what kind of tree you have growing. Our tree is sustained by roots that dig deep. Our heart is contained in these roots, and as Luke 6:45 tells us, it is out of the overflow of the heart that the mouth speaks.
The anger, fear, or bitterness that sneaks out of our mouths reveals what is really going on inside our hearts. We need to examine our behavior, thoughts, and actions from the viewpoint of Christ. In John 15:5, He tells us that apart from Him we can bear no good fruit. Sounds a little far-fetched, because we like to think we are in complete control. Sometimes complete control is actually complete denial.
Apart from Christ, we can try and try but we can't change our hearts ourselves. It is the relationship with Jesus Christ that changes us from the inside out; the process requires our reaching to Him, but He does the work. An obedient heart and openness to something that may be contrary to what we believe to be true may be necessary for His fruit to bloom in us, but it will bloom.
As you evaluate your own words and actions, what do they say about the real you? What do you really believe about the people and world around you, about yourself? Before you say "That's just the way I am", offer your heart to Jesus and ask Him to change it, from the inside out.
"The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)"
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Happy Is the Home...
We spent a couple of weeks learning about home management. We are, as moms, the CEO's of our homes...the Chief Environmental Officers. You have probably heard the saying "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Because our home is the place we are nururing, teaching, and loving our families, it makes sense that we would want them to run smoothly.
When it comes to cooking, being organized is key. Studies show that families who eat together have less incidence of teen pregnancy, drug use, and behavior issues. We can use the family dinner table to connect on a regular basis with our kids and husbands, share values, and process life together. If you are stressed out about getting dinner on the table, chances are that it will not be a relaxing experience. Take a few minutes to plan your meals, check your supplies, and make one trip to the store each week. Being organized also allows you to provide a meal for someone in need on short notice and bless someone else's family. I have found the website www.momonamission.me to be extremely helpful. It is a wealth of information, planning sheets, weekly menus, and great recipes. Check it out!
Along with feeding our families comes the responsibility of cleaning, organizing, and decorating our homes. Jessica and Erika taught on these subjects. The number one reason we should do anything is to glorify God, and if we are screaming at our kids because we can't find anything, we are not glorifying God. Jessica talked about the benefits of getting organized and having a routine to accomplish tasks. Involving your kids early on might make more work for you in the short run, but pays off in the long run. Erika gave us many tips on decorating our homes, but the best part of the talk in my eyes was her opening: Decorating is exciting but can lead to discontentment. Be careful that you are not basing your worth in the way your house looks. A great tip she had was to not put out all your stuff at once. That way, you can shop your storage when you are ready for a change. Great job, girls!
As you can see, the tasks and duties that come along with running your home are not an end in themselves. We use these activities to create an environment of peace, love, learning, and security for our families. Let us not fail to see the big picture behind the seemingly endless days of laundry, cooking, and cleaning. God has a plan for these years.
When it comes to cooking, being organized is key. Studies show that families who eat together have less incidence of teen pregnancy, drug use, and behavior issues. We can use the family dinner table to connect on a regular basis with our kids and husbands, share values, and process life together. If you are stressed out about getting dinner on the table, chances are that it will not be a relaxing experience. Take a few minutes to plan your meals, check your supplies, and make one trip to the store each week. Being organized also allows you to provide a meal for someone in need on short notice and bless someone else's family. I have found the website www.momonamission.me to be extremely helpful. It is a wealth of information, planning sheets, weekly menus, and great recipes. Check it out!
Along with feeding our families comes the responsibility of cleaning, organizing, and decorating our homes. Jessica and Erika taught on these subjects. The number one reason we should do anything is to glorify God, and if we are screaming at our kids because we can't find anything, we are not glorifying God. Jessica talked about the benefits of getting organized and having a routine to accomplish tasks. Involving your kids early on might make more work for you in the short run, but pays off in the long run. Erika gave us many tips on decorating our homes, but the best part of the talk in my eyes was her opening: Decorating is exciting but can lead to discontentment. Be careful that you are not basing your worth in the way your house looks. A great tip she had was to not put out all your stuff at once. That way, you can shop your storage when you are ready for a change. Great job, girls!
As you can see, the tasks and duties that come along with running your home are not an end in themselves. We use these activities to create an environment of peace, love, learning, and security for our families. Let us not fail to see the big picture behind the seemingly endless days of laundry, cooking, and cleaning. God has a plan for these years.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Get Moving!
Dr. Jamie Krzykowski blessed us last week with a fitness lesson. She taught us a variety of exercises that would be suitable from prenatal to post-delivery and beyond. Challenging us to improve our physical activity by just 2% each week, Jamie stressed how important it is to our overall well-being to get moving. If the goal is to be active a minimum of 15 minutes/day 3 days/week, that is only 45 minutes each week. A 2% improvement would only be 9 minutes...laughably doable.
She stressed that physical activity doesn't have to look like traditional exercise. Make a few extra trips up and down the stairs. Do jumping jacks on commercials. Let your kids chase you around the yard. Just do it, like the slogan says.
I was happy to be her assistant, with my baby model Minnie.
She made us hold a squat for a long time!
Pretty good form, huh?
The team was happy to demonstrate the dyna-bands.
She stressed that physical activity doesn't have to look like traditional exercise. Make a few extra trips up and down the stairs. Do jumping jacks on commercials. Let your kids chase you around the yard. Just do it, like the slogan says.
I was happy to be her assistant, with my baby model Minnie.
She made us hold a squat for a long time!
Pretty good form, huh?
The team was happy to demonstrate the dyna-bands. Thanks Jamie for getting us motivated...looking for some great results, girls!
Friday, February 10, 2012
Friendship
In an informal study, about 70% of moms attend Mom Time in hopes of meeting new friends. In a formal study done by UCLA, friendships between women are shown to release oxytocin in the brain, which is the feel-good neurotransmitter. When women are stressed, being close to their friends has a calming effect...and all God's girls said "Duh!" We know all this instinctively, but getting from standing in the same room with a bunch of moms and growing in a friendship is a process, but not impossible.
In researching for this talk, I found an article on Wiki-how with featuring 23 steps to making friends, which I condensed for our lesson. You can read the full article here.
The first thing you need to do is smile. Picture what your face is doing when you aren't thinking about what your face is doing. Do you look like the kind of person someone wants to start a conversation with, or do you look stressed out and preoccupied, like you don't want to be bothered? Sometimes we send out "Back Off!" messages without knowing it, so think about your expression.
Second, speak up. Learn to make small talk. In a group like MT, you have some givens. Everyone has kids, so use that as a conversation starter. I am not a naturally outgoing person, so sometimes I pretend to be someone brave if I'm nervous about starting a conversation. Eventually it starts to flow. If talking to others really leaves you wanting to faint, have a standard line you use. Compliment the sweater or hairstyle of every person you meet if that is what it takes to break the ice. When you close your conversation, if you haven't done so already, introduce yourself. "By the way, my name is so and so." The next time you see this person, you will already have a connection to build on.
Let's assume you've smiled and made a little small talk, and your conversation is coming to a close. If you want to further the connection, arrange a get-together. Invite them to coffee, or suggest you take the kiddoes to the park one day. If you've discovered a hobby in common, plan something along those lines.
Making friends as adults can be difficult, but we were made for connection; friendships add richness to life. Once you've made a friend, follow the Four B's:
Debbie
In researching for this talk, I found an article on Wiki-how with featuring 23 steps to making friends, which I condensed for our lesson. You can read the full article here.
The first thing you need to do is smile. Picture what your face is doing when you aren't thinking about what your face is doing. Do you look like the kind of person someone wants to start a conversation with, or do you look stressed out and preoccupied, like you don't want to be bothered? Sometimes we send out "Back Off!" messages without knowing it, so think about your expression.
Second, speak up. Learn to make small talk. In a group like MT, you have some givens. Everyone has kids, so use that as a conversation starter. I am not a naturally outgoing person, so sometimes I pretend to be someone brave if I'm nervous about starting a conversation. Eventually it starts to flow. If talking to others really leaves you wanting to faint, have a standard line you use. Compliment the sweater or hairstyle of every person you meet if that is what it takes to break the ice. When you close your conversation, if you haven't done so already, introduce yourself. "By the way, my name is so and so." The next time you see this person, you will already have a connection to build on.
Let's assume you've smiled and made a little small talk, and your conversation is coming to a close. If you want to further the connection, arrange a get-together. Invite them to coffee, or suggest you take the kiddoes to the park one day. If you've discovered a hobby in common, plan something along those lines.
Making friends as adults can be difficult, but we were made for connection; friendships add richness to life. Once you've made a friend, follow the Four B's:
- Be a good friend. Sounds redundant, but what I mean is be interested in them. Don't just have friends to support your life, but so you can enrich theirs as well. Remember birthdays. Listen to their dreams. Sometimes just sitting with someone is the kindest act you can provide.
- Be trustworthy, and trusting. Don't share their business with everyone else just because you got the scoop on something. It's called gossip and will destroy the foundation of a friendship faster than anything. Also trust them...give them the benefit of the doubt if they are snarky towards you. Don't be quick to write them off; maybe they've had an awful day and you called at the wrong time.
- Be reliable. If you say you are going to do something, do it. If you are meeting up with them, don't be late. It implies that their time isn't as valuable as yours.
- Be there. Friendship requires sacrifice. In Proverbs, we're told that a friend loves at all times. In John 3:16, we're taught that God so loved the world that He gave His Son. Love gives. When friendships get hard, or it isn't just all fun and games, don't bail. You will miss growing the deepest sweetest relationship with someone who probably needs you more than ever. Watch her kids, make her a meatloaf, offer to run an errand. Invest in your friendship, and it will pay off.
Debbie
Sunday, January 22, 2012
It's Spring!!
Ok, maybe not on the weather calendar. But here at Fox River Christian Church, we are getting ready to kick off our spring semester of Journey groups. The Mom Time Team is hard at work planning the next 15 weeks for you. Our semester is called Living By The Book, and that is what we are going to figure out how to do.
Did you know the Bible has something to say about every area of your life? From running your home to caring for yourself, to raising your kids and handling your relationships, God has not left us without guidance. But, finding that information and figuring out how to apply it can be two different things. We are going to walk through some of the challenges that come with this season of motherhood together, providing good practical instruction and a lot of fun along the way.
If you have never been out to Mom Time, here is a little of what to expect: We meet from 9:30-11:00 every Tuesday from January 31st-May 15, taking off the Tuesday following Easter. 9:30-9:45 is snack and chat time, grabbing some coffee and treats and visitng with friends, with announcements at 9:45. Large group teaching time is about 35-40 minutes, and you go to your small groups at 10:30. We keep the topics relevant to what you may be experiencing as a mom, and there is no homework other than figuring out what you want to apply to your own life.
Scroll through the blog and see some of the topics we covered last semester, which focused on finding contentment in motherhood.
There is no cost to attend Mom Time, although we may do a project or something that might cost money, and if you need childcare, you must register and pay for that, which is reasonably priced. If you have any questions, you can stop by the Journey table at church or email Luanne, our Women's Ministry Director at church. She can be reached at lglass@foxriverchristian.org.
On behalf of the whole team, we are looking forward to a great semester, rekindling old friendships, and beginning new ones.
Debbie Giese
Director of Mom Time, Fox River Christian Church
Did you know the Bible has something to say about every area of your life? From running your home to caring for yourself, to raising your kids and handling your relationships, God has not left us without guidance. But, finding that information and figuring out how to apply it can be two different things. We are going to walk through some of the challenges that come with this season of motherhood together, providing good practical instruction and a lot of fun along the way.
If you have never been out to Mom Time, here is a little of what to expect: We meet from 9:30-11:00 every Tuesday from January 31st-May 15, taking off the Tuesday following Easter. 9:30-9:45 is snack and chat time, grabbing some coffee and treats and visitng with friends, with announcements at 9:45. Large group teaching time is about 35-40 minutes, and you go to your small groups at 10:30. We keep the topics relevant to what you may be experiencing as a mom, and there is no homework other than figuring out what you want to apply to your own life.
Scroll through the blog and see some of the topics we covered last semester, which focused on finding contentment in motherhood.
There is no cost to attend Mom Time, although we may do a project or something that might cost money, and if you need childcare, you must register and pay for that, which is reasonably priced. If you have any questions, you can stop by the Journey table at church or email Luanne, our Women's Ministry Director at church. She can be reached at lglass@foxriverchristian.org.
On behalf of the whole team, we are looking forward to a great semester, rekindling old friendships, and beginning new ones.
Debbie Giese
Director of Mom Time, Fox River Christian Church
Saturday, December 10, 2011
The Bible: A Love Story
I don't know what the Bible represented to you growing up. In my house, it was a huge book for pressing flowers and keeping yellowed scraps of obituaries. We didn't actually read it. As a matter of fact, I didn't know we were supposed to. I thought only nuns and priests read the Bible. About six years ago I read a book that referred to the Bible as a love story, and that took me by surprise.
History book, yes.
Basic instructions before leaving Earth (BIBLE), yes.
Love story, not so much.
Understanding that was the catalyst for the transformation God performed in my life.
There are five key truths that, when you really "get" them, will open the door to a richer relationship with Jesus. It is my desire to add a new level of awareness to your Christmas season through this knowledge.
He knows your name: Have you ever been called by the wrong name? Felt anonymous in the world? Wonder if your existence makes a difference at all? I wandered through my own life feeling like that for close to 25 years, not sure of my place in life. Isaiah 43:1 says "I have called you by name. You are mine." Mine. I belong to God. He calls me His. The God of the Universe knows who I am and He knows who you are too. Let that sink in for a minute.
He will never leave you or forsake you.(Hebrews 13:5) In this world of inconsistency, divorce, and job loss, we learn to view relationships as temporary. "Until irritation do we part...." God does not operate that way. His promise to us is to never leave us or forsake us. He will never turn His back on us when we disappoint Him. He will never choose a better opportunity over us. Never is a very long time, unfathomably actually. We can't understand that with our conditional, human thinking minds, but God is not limited by our standards. He will never, ever leave you. He promises.
He came for you. With the life of Jesus, who is God in the flesh, over 365 prophecies from the Old Testament were fulfilled. One of my favorites is the connection between Isaiah 61: 1-3 and Luke 4:16-21. (Click to read the verses.) He came to set us free from all the weighs us down and steals our joy and contentment, to make a way for us to have a right relationship with God. You can read more of my personal journey if you want here.http://www.debbiegiese.com/p/rest-of-story.html
He cares for you. "Cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)" Do you realize that God is intimately involved in every detail of your life, that He is not some distant entity asleep at the wheel, and wants you to come to Him with your concerns, fears, and celebrations? When you have had a long day of worrying about everyone else's needs, don't forget that God is actively concerned with yours. Share it all with Him; He can take it.
He has a plan for you. You were not created without reason or by accident, no matter what circumstances you come from. I was born to young parents, and often felt like an "accident." What I know realize is that God planned for me, and that every day I wake up breathing is a day He still has planned for me. Amazingly, He has a plan for each one of us to fulfill. I think that is the coolest ever. Check out these verses for confirmation: Jeremiah 29:11-13 and Ephesians 2:10.
My prayer for each of you is to know how much you matter to God, and to view Christmas as the birth of the promise and evidence of God's love. Celebrate the wonder and majesty of this season with the eyes of your heart opened to the truth that the Bible is the Living Word of God, and that Jesus is that Word made flesh. May you contain to grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ. Amen.
If you are unsure about any of these things and would like to talk more, check in with me or your group leader. We would be thrilled to visit with you.
History book, yes.
Basic instructions before leaving Earth (BIBLE), yes.
Love story, not so much.
Understanding that was the catalyst for the transformation God performed in my life.
There are five key truths that, when you really "get" them, will open the door to a richer relationship with Jesus. It is my desire to add a new level of awareness to your Christmas season through this knowledge.
He knows your name: Have you ever been called by the wrong name? Felt anonymous in the world? Wonder if your existence makes a difference at all? I wandered through my own life feeling like that for close to 25 years, not sure of my place in life. Isaiah 43:1 says "I have called you by name. You are mine." Mine. I belong to God. He calls me His. The God of the Universe knows who I am and He knows who you are too. Let that sink in for a minute.
He will never leave you or forsake you.(Hebrews 13:5) In this world of inconsistency, divorce, and job loss, we learn to view relationships as temporary. "Until irritation do we part...." God does not operate that way. His promise to us is to never leave us or forsake us. He will never turn His back on us when we disappoint Him. He will never choose a better opportunity over us. Never is a very long time, unfathomably actually. We can't understand that with our conditional, human thinking minds, but God is not limited by our standards. He will never, ever leave you. He promises.
He came for you. With the life of Jesus, who is God in the flesh, over 365 prophecies from the Old Testament were fulfilled. One of my favorites is the connection between Isaiah 61: 1-3 and Luke 4:16-21. (Click to read the verses.) He came to set us free from all the weighs us down and steals our joy and contentment, to make a way for us to have a right relationship with God. You can read more of my personal journey if you want here.http://www.debbiegiese.com/p/rest-of-story.html
He cares for you. "Cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)" Do you realize that God is intimately involved in every detail of your life, that He is not some distant entity asleep at the wheel, and wants you to come to Him with your concerns, fears, and celebrations? When you have had a long day of worrying about everyone else's needs, don't forget that God is actively concerned with yours. Share it all with Him; He can take it.
He has a plan for you. You were not created without reason or by accident, no matter what circumstances you come from. I was born to young parents, and often felt like an "accident." What I know realize is that God planned for me, and that every day I wake up breathing is a day He still has planned for me. Amazingly, He has a plan for each one of us to fulfill. I think that is the coolest ever. Check out these verses for confirmation: Jeremiah 29:11-13 and Ephesians 2:10.
My prayer for each of you is to know how much you matter to God, and to view Christmas as the birth of the promise and evidence of God's love. Celebrate the wonder and majesty of this season with the eyes of your heart opened to the truth that the Bible is the Living Word of God, and that Jesus is that Word made flesh. May you contain to grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ. Amen.
If you are unsure about any of these things and would like to talk more, check in with me or your group leader. We would be thrilled to visit with you.
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