Window Shopping-10/25/11

Window shopping is that pastime where you go looking at things but not actually buying them. What happens for some of us though is that we end up resenting the fact that we can't have those things, and we stop appreciating what we have in the first place.

This week we talked about envy and jealousy, which are not actually interchangeable words. Envy is wishing we had what someone else has, and jealousy is the fear of losing what we already have. We are focusing this semester on cultivating contentment in this season of life, and envy and jealousy will rob us of contentment faster than anything. By definition, contentment is not wanting anything different than what you have, from material possessions to our families to gifts and talents, just to name a few.

As we talked about, there are many reasons why we envy others:

• Because we are overly concerned with our personal rights. This is where the "I deserve..." thinking comes in.
• Because we take other people's success personally, like it is a strike against us if someone else succeeds.
• Because we just want more. Plain and simple. If a little is good, more is better.
• Because we yearn for status and achievement. This just feeds in to the whole identity issue...I am what I do.

We need to face this sin (because that is what it is) head on. Unchecked envy or jealousy will leave us feeling bitter and resentful and leads to all kinds of ugly behavior. We are not loving our neighbor if we are busy being ugly, right? Don't compare your weakness to someone else's strength. We all have gifts and talents, and if we all had the same one this would be a pretty lopsided world.

Cultivate the joy of giving, whether it is material giving or otherwise. Hold the possessions you do have loosely, being ready to bless someone else as the opportunity arises. Be gracious to those you are actually envious of, and see how that works to transform the way you feel. Feelings follow actions, and if you act decently towards someone you are jealous of, you will feel better about the situation. It's funny how getting to know the rest of the person, not just the quality you wish you had, evens things out.

Choose each day where you will focus your thoughts. Each day we are given a chance to glorify God and live a life of contentment, even when things don't go as we think they should have.

Remember:
"You will live a life of constant discouragement if you feed yourself on what God hasn't done instead of what He has."

Outside Resources:
Facing Your Feelings
Goodbye Old Friend: Asking Jealousy to Leave
A Truly Amazing Race- my story of the triathlon...things did not turn out as planned that day, lol

 

The Business of Busyness-10/18/11

Did you ever feel like if you weren't running in three directions at once you were doing something wrong? The myth that permeates our culture is that we are what we do, as we talked about last week in Identity Theft. That myth often leads us to overcommitting ourselves and losing sight of what really matters.

I challenged everyone to think about why we do what we do, and got a range of answers.

• So it is done right.
• Because I want people to like me.
• Because I feel like I'm supposed to_______________. (Mine was volunteer in the classroom for this one.)
• Because I feel guilty if I say no.

We also tend to overcommit our kids to activities, and before we know it, we've eaten 4 out of 5 weeknight meals in the car trying to get from one thing to the next. Momma's that have kids under two, take note of this. Don't be afraid to be choosy in deciding how to spend your kid's time. In an effort to give our kids every opportunity in life, we sometimes take away the opportunity to let them just be kids and figure out how to have fun on their own.

The key is to figure out what matters, what your goals and priorities are for this season, and use that as your measuring stick. If you find that outside commitments, or even household expectations, are not supporting your goals, then cut them loose.

In the end, this season of motherhood is for a finite period of time. Be intentional about making the most out of it...I always remember the joke about giving a child a huge fabulous gift and they only played in the box it came in. What you are doing with them matters less than the fact that you are doing it with them.

Next Tuesday promises to be hilarious...see you then!

Identity Theft-10/11/11

Click here to download this week's worksheet!

Few things rock our world, and sense of stability, like becoming a mom. At one time, you were capable of finishing complete sentences, watching an entire episode of What Not To Wear, and making decisions that primarily only affected you. Next thing you know, you are responsible for a wiggly little creature who has no respect for your schedule, needs, and sense of self. You have become "THE MOM" (insert deep booming voice here!). Going to the bathroom with the door closed and showering on a daily basis have been relegated to the list of luxuries. Eating a chocolate bar all by yourself might require a trip to the laundry room.

In your BC (before children) life, you may have identified yourself by your job position, and choosing to stay home with the kiddoes forces us to reevaluate who we are. We can't allow ourselves to be defined by anything other than the way Christ sees us. To use worldly statuses of income, position, success, or appearance leaves us standing on shaky ground.

I have been known to glance in the mirror and not recognize myself. I would think, I used to be funny. I used to be smart. I used to speak in complete sentences and not sigh so much. Where did I go? But, I also know that God is using my kids, all five of them, to shape me into the woman He has in mind for me to be. He will use the kids to reveal what is going on in my heart, things like self-centeredness, pride, and impatience, and help me to deal with them.

And in this season, He will lead me toward a love that is greater than anything I ever experienced. I will feel the joy of watching a little helpless baby grow into their own unique creation, and in that, I will taste a little bit of what He feels for me. And for you.

Practically speaking though, you will thrive in this season if you make sure to get adequate rest. Don't feel guilty if you didn't clean the house because you needed a nap. Take time to do something you enjoy, even if it is just taking five minutes to listen to a song that refreshed you on your ipod. Get outside for some fresh air, even if there is laundry that needs folding. Think of the airplane analogy: you have to put your own air mask on before you can help those around you.

It's ok. You're the mom now.

Mom Time Kicks Off!

Today was our first day of Mom Time, and if I do say so myself, I think it went pretty well. We had a great morning of getting to know each other with an icebreaker called Speed Dating...lots of random questions designed to dig a little deeper. After breaking into small groups, there was an icebreaker involving candy, so what's not to like about that?

I know I speak for the whole team when I say I'm so excited about the great turn-out today. If I had to guess, I would say it was almost an even match of new faces and returning (I didn't say old!) friends. We are looking forward to walking this journey of motherhood with you through this next year of Mom Time. We will use this blog to post the weekly lesson content, with some added resources. If I can figure it out, you'll be able to click and listen to the teaching if you missed it. Also, if you are on Facebook, send a request to join our Fox River Mom Time FB group.

Thanks so much for joining us!