Praying for Our Children

Prayer is one of those things that we know we are supposed to do. Like exercise, or eating enough vegetables. For some of us, just hearing the word prayer brings up feelings of guilt, boredom, or, dare I say it outloud, futility.

Sometimes I think that if God already has all my days planned out, why bother to pray. It's not like I'm going to change His mind about something.

However, the purpose of prayer is not to influence God, but to change the nature of the one who prays. Praying brings us into communion and relationship with God, and He will align our hearts with His as we let Him into the conversation, which prayer is.

Prayer is nothing more, and nothing less, than communicating with our Creator. No special degree is required. Jesus died so that we could approach the throne of grace with confidence, whatever is going on in our lives. You don't have to wait until you feel like you are having an especially holy day to come to God in prayer.

When it comes to praying for our kids, don't be afraid to pray big, hairy, audacious prayers on their behalf. Ask God to move in a big way in their lives and let Him show off.

Many verses in the Bible can be turned into prayers. And remember to think like a farmer when it comes to praying for your kids. Many prayers will take time to bear fruit, but God is always at work on our behalf.

To get you started, Romans 12:9-21 is a great section to break up into prayers for your kids. Proverbs 9:10 says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Pray that for your children.

Use a prayer calendar, with a different verse for each day. Here is a link to many resources regarding intentional motherhood.

Trace their hand and write a verse for the whole year on it. Post it where you will see it.

Get your kids started on their own faith journey of prayer. Write the names of friends and loved ones on popsicle sticks and practice praying for one stick each day.

Bottom line: don't be intimidated or defeated before you even get started. Invite God to come closer to your family through prayer, and be prepared to have Him knock your socks off.

Resources:
 Upside Down Prayers
Pray Big for Your Child
www.inspiredtoaction.com

Notes from the Bookshelf: The 5 Love Languages

Just like we all have different taste in food, music, artwork, decorating....all areas, basically, we all perceive love differently. What speaks volumes to one falls flat to another. In this book, The 5 Love Languages of Children, the authors help us to understand how to communicate love to our kids in different ways.

Through assessments, conversations, and observing them, you can decipher a piece of what makes their hearts tick. While there is overlap and activities that fall in more than one category, the Love Language philosophy speaks of five:

• Physical touch
• Acts of Service
• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Gifts

Showing unconditional love to our kids provide the foundation for them to grow into healthy, well-adjusted, loving adults. A child raised with only his physical needs of food and shelter met will have great difficulty relating to the world around them.

Speaking their language, especially when it is not our own, is truly a gift we can give. We need to be careful not to teach them to live by their feelings...same goes for us, by the way...but at the same time, recognize that loving is how we show the world that we love Jesus. If we can learn to love others in a way that sinks deep in their emotional love tank, we not only build better relationships, we reap the blessings too.

Visit the website at www.5lovelanguages.com for tools and books to check out. Be sure and peek at the "apology" link while you're there. I found it very enlightening.

Notes from the Bookshelf: Boundaries with Children

Have you ever had days when your whole “Mom System” just shuts down because the kids have gone beyond pushing your buttons? Perhaps what is lacking in the household is a clear set of boundaries for your children and for yourself.  This week, Aziza taught on boundaries with kids, how to manage them, support them, and plant roots for their future.

There are three areas of influence that boundaries can have on our kids, teaching (learning that they are responsible for the behavior), modeling (lead by example), and internalizing (making a fact reality).  Within these boundaries, offer a true sense of freedom by allowing them choices to be made on their own.  Praise and increase their freedoms the more responsible they become.

Aziza also encouraged us to remember that emotions run strong in our children.  It’s good to empathize with our kids but also to correct them and teach them different ways to deal with their feelings.  For those moments when you feel like your children have the upper hand on you, keep in mind that disrespect is normal but it is something that should be called out and not to be continued.  Keep your stance and boundaries firm and constant with your children. 

Finally, try to keep the current of your family flowing all in the same direction.  Remind your kids that you are for them rather than against them.  Pray for your children, not just to get through the day but for their future. We all need grace and forgiveness, let’s not forget that we have a watchful Father who is trying to set boundaries for us as well.

 

Running On Empty with Laura Sandretti

Our lesson this week came from a special guest, Laura Sandretti, on how to find joy when you are running on empty, and who wouldn’t want to hear about that? Laura gave us four sound suggestions on how to maintain a steady contentment and joy through our busy daily lives.

Her first suggestion offered rest, not only by napping (if at all possible), but in a way that requires asking for help from others to ease the load from your shoulders.  She also advised that rest can come from a realistic outlet, such as exercise, even if that means a relaxing walk, or a few minutes of quiet reading.

Not only do we need rest to keep ourselves fueled, but what we fill up on, what we work hard for has to be for the right reasons.  Our ultimate goal in this life, as Paul reminds us, is to reach the finish line in eternity, but while we are here on this earth, set your sights on running for what matters.  A simple example might be spending a half an hour reading with your kids versus rummaging through facebook in that time.  Or find joy in spending time with your children as they help you clean up instead of focusing on how behind you are in chores. 

Being behind in chores can run you right into Laura’s third suggestion, run your own race.  So you’re house isn’t as spotless and perfect as Suzy Q’s, so what?  You’ll never find joy if you are constantly trying to live out someone else’s victories.  And isn’t it all too often you only hear about everyone’s victories instead of failures?

Finally, remember that no cup of coffee, no perfect time on a run, not even the cleanest house will bring you joy like the joy and peace that God will provide for you.  He will fill your cup faster than you can brew a pot if you let him in and expect to hear his voice.

 Laura had some additional notes that she wanted to share with you:

Here is that list of ideas to read the Bible relationally from Nancy Grisham’s book Thriving:

• Read relationally: As you’re reading, remember to read relationally by talking to God and listening for Him. Stop and interact w/ Him as you read.
• Place: Find a place where you can have some undistracted time alone. For some of you, this may not be physically possible. That’s okay. You can still meet w/ God. Ask Him to help you stay focused.
• Time: Find the time that works best to be one-on-one with God. If you can’t find the time, then time probably isn’t the problem – it’s prioritizing your time (note from Laura – this is where, “we make time for what matters” comes in! J)
• Later list: If you’re like me, as soon as you sit down w/ God you may get distracted by things that need to be done. Keep a “later list” and jot those things down to do later.
• Prayer and Application: Spend time talking to God specifically about how you can apply what He is teaching you. Then practice what you read. Talk to Him about things on your mind and heart.