Training Up Your Kids in Three Easy Steps

Ok, I may have oversimplified, but at least I caught your eye. We covered discipline for two weeks and how to teach your kiddoes about Jesus with our guest speaker Michele Stamm from Family Time Ministries.

The gist of Christian discipline is not spanking, contrary to what the world would have you believe. What separates Christian discipline from the rest of the world is the motive. We are not interested in having kids who act like good kids, although I freely admit to being willing to settle for that on a lot of days. We want kids who do right because they have a relationship with Jesus and want to please Him above all else.

Think back to when you were a kid, or maybe even to more recent events. You behaved in a way that was expected, but in your head you were rolling your eyes, whining, and counting the minutes until you get could out of the situation. Your heart was not in the behavior at all, but anyone who looked at you had no idea what was going on under the surface. That is the goal of worldy discipline in a nutshell: everyone conform to an expected set of behaviors so we can all be happy.

The desired behavior is usually achieved through a series of negative and positive sanctions: time outs, consequences, and physical punishment. There is no heart change here.

Christian discipline takes a multi-faceted approach. Naughtiness is referred to appropriately: sin. No excuse is made for the little darlings. Although being over-tired and hungry may predispose them to bad behavior, it is not sugar-coated. Hitting your brother is not kind and Jesus wants us to be kind to one another, even when our tummies are hungry. Naming the offense as sin has the benefit of your child realizing they are a sinner and in need of the saving grace of God. Through consistently applied teaching and training, a discipleship of your child in the ways of the Lord, and the work of the Holy Spirit, your child will, over time, develop a heart that is sensitive to God.

This would be a good time to insert the scripture "Do not grow weary in doing good, for in time, you will reap a harvest of righteousness. (Galatians 6:9). This is not magic and it is not easy. You must be aware of your own motivations and desires before you can effectively train your kids. This is why we covered the tree in our opening lesson. Your next step, the one that may take the next ten years, is to help your kids discover their roots and deal with them in a godly manner.

Grace and reconciliation are key to disciplining kids in a godly manner. We don't hold grudges our remind them of how many times they've committed the same offense. We don't belittle them. At the end of a "training opportunity", we teach them to seek forgiveness from God and the person they've sinned against. Both parties, the offender and the offended, learn about forgiveness. Sometimes it is just as hard to give as to ask.

In preparation of our lessons, I leaned heavily on Ginger Plowman's book Don't Make Me Count To Three. It is an easy read but with a depth of knowledge that is profound in its simplicity. She clearly defines why Christian discipline is the only thing that will lead our kids to repentance and a right relationship with God. She offers solutions and examples that are easy to relate to, and encourages parents to not give up.  In case you missed the announcement, Mom Time has ordered copies of Wise Words for Moms (the one that Kim shared) for everyone.

Discipline is not all about punishment, but teaching and encouraging as well. Michele Stamm shared her resources from Family Time Ministries and showed us some fun activities to do with our kids to make the gospel come to life. There are manuals full of activies on the website geared to all ages of kids. If you need some help with this, and who doesn't, check out the website. You can also sign up for activities to be emailed to you on a quarterly basis.

Raising our kids is nothing to be taken lightly; it is also nothing to freak out about. God has not left us to wander blindly. Be diligent, consistent, and loving. You can do this. Here are links to two handouts that may help you in your journey. One is Reasons You May Be Screaming At Your Children and the other is To Spank or Not To Spank.