Dealing With Difficult People

Nothing says the holidays are coming like having to deal with some difficult people, even those we might find in our own families. The tension of the season is that we are supposed to be happy and cheerful, but sometimes reality intrudes. When we remember that while we can't control the attitudes and behaviors of others, we are in charge of our own reactions. Here are some quick tips to keep the joy flowing:

• A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1). Even though you may be well justified to snap on someone, it will only make things worse. Be the one to de-escalate the situation.
• The words of the reckless pierce like a sword, but the words of the wise bring healing. (Proverbs 12:18) Your choice to use healing words can have the ripple effect of touching more lives than just the person you are dealing with.
• Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:19) Oh, if only my mouth didn't work faster than my brain sometimes. Amen?

In the ME book we have been following, by John Ortberg, he tells us about the 1/4 second principle. When we decide to move a part of our bodies, be it our mouths or our hands, it takes the direction from our brain about one quarter of a second to travel down the nerve pathways that enable our bodies to cooperate. We have that long to decide if the action we are planning on is the correct approach. It is in that split second that God can work, if we allow Him to redirect our thoughts. I know that for myself, that quarter second can seem like a really long time as I battle between what I really want, to fight back, and what God wants, to let His peace rule in my heart.

When tempers are flaring and there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day, I am going to choose in advance, to listen for that voice that speaks in the split second. Jesus is not just the reason for this season, He is the reason for it all. And when I fail, I will pick myself up and try again. I will thank God for the difficult people and trying times that He allows into my life, knowing that He will use it all.