The Bible: A Love Story

I don't know what the Bible represented to you growing up. In my house, it was a huge book for pressing flowers and keeping yellowed scraps of obituaries. We didn't actually read it. As a matter of fact, I didn't know we were supposed to. I thought only nuns and priests read the Bible.  About six years ago I read a book that referred to the Bible as a love story, and that took me by surprise.

History book, yes.

Basic instructions before leaving Earth (BIBLE), yes.

Love story, not so much.

Understanding that was the catalyst for the transformation God performed in my life.

There are five key truths that, when you really "get" them, will open the door to a richer relationship with Jesus. It is my desire to add a new level of awareness to your Christmas season through this knowledge.

He knows your name: Have you ever been called by the wrong name? Felt anonymous in the world? Wonder if your existence makes a difference at all? I wandered through my own life feeling like that for close to 25 years, not sure of my place in life. Isaiah 43:1 says "I have called you by name. You are mine." Mine. I belong to God. He calls me His. The God of the Universe knows who I am and He knows who you are too. Let that sink in for a minute.

He will never leave you or forsake you.(Hebrews 13:5) In this world of inconsistency, divorce, and job loss, we learn to view relationships as temporary. "Until irritation do we part...." God does not operate that way. His promise to us is to never leave us or forsake us. He will never turn His back on us when we disappoint Him. He will never choose a better opportunity over us. Never is a very long time, unfathomably actually. We can't understand that with our conditional, human thinking minds, but God is not limited by our standards. He will never, ever leave you. He promises.

He came for you. With the life of Jesus, who is God in the flesh, over 365 prophecies from the Old Testament were fulfilled. One of my favorites is the connection between Isaiah 61: 1-3 and Luke 4:16-21. (Click to read the verses.) He came to set us free from all the weighs us down and steals our joy and contentment, to make a way for us to have a right relationship with God. You can read more of my personal journey if you want here.http://www.debbiegiese.com/p/rest-of-story.html

He cares for you. "Cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)"  Do you realize that God is intimately involved in every detail of your life, that He is not some distant entity asleep at the wheel, and wants you to come to Him with your concerns, fears, and celebrations? When you have had a long day of worrying about everyone else's needs, don't forget that God is actively concerned with yours. Share it all with Him; He can take it.

He has a plan for you. You were not created without reason or by accident, no matter what circumstances you come from. I was born to young parents, and often felt like an "accident." What I know realize is that God planned for me, and that every day I wake up breathing is a day He still has planned for me. Amazingly, He has a plan for each one of us to fulfill. I think that is the coolest ever. Check out these verses for confirmation: Jeremiah 29:11-13 and Ephesians 2:10.

My prayer for each of you is to know how much you matter to God, and to view Christmas as the birth of the promise and evidence of God's love. Celebrate the wonder and majesty of this season with the eyes of your heart opened to the truth that the Bible is the Living Word of God, and that Jesus is that Word made flesh. May you contain to grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ. Amen.

If you are unsure about any of these things and would like to talk more, check in with me or your group leader. We would be thrilled to visit with you.

How to SAVOR the Holiday Season

Here is a link to the talk I gave at the Girls Night Out event a few weeks ago:

http://www.debbiegiese.com/2011/11/creating-little-breathing-space.html

An Attitude of Gratitude

We see it everywhere...the benefits of having an attitude of gratitude. But, because the Bible commands it, we must give it more weight than we do to the "Don't worry, be happy" bumper stickers. The key to life is rooted in gratitude. Luanne Glass taught on gratitude last week, which was appropriately, Thanksgiving week.

The good news is that gratitude can be learned. Paul said in Philippians that he has "learned to be content in all circumstances." Learned, by the man who was hunted, beaten, persecuted, shipwrecked, imprisoned...he learned to live a life of gratitude regardless of his circumstances. The bottom line is to "give thanks in all circumstances. (1 Thess. 5:18)"

Like anything learned, it must be practiced. I have heard the saying that 10,000 hours in any endeavor are required to be an expert in something. Luanne challenged us to keep a gratitude journal. Because life comes at us only one moment at a time, find something to be grateful for in each moment. They will add up.

Gratitude is the key to a life in Christ. It is the answer to worry and stress...Do not be anxious for anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Phil. 4:6)

Can you accept the challenge, amid the dirty diapers, overtired toddlers, and challenging bigger kids, to find something in each moment to be grateful for? Write it down because we remember what we write, and can come back to it as a reminder. Your life will be transformed. He promises.

Operation Christmas Child

November 15th found us packing our shoe boxes with gifts that will land in the hands of children we will probably never meet. On the surface, we were just a bunch of moms putting trinkets, candy, and art supplies in boxes. Underneath though, ran the current of hope. We were packing hope for families desperately in need of it.

Samaritan's Purse runs Operation Christmas Child, which deliver shoeboxes filled with Christmas gifts to children around the globe. More importantly, each child receives twelve gospel centered lessons, introducing them to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Hope.

The moms brought enough stuff to pack 27 boxes. We had teams wrapping the box tops and bottoms; each group packed their boxes, then brought them to the stage. When the last box was filled, we gathered in a circle and prayed over them. We prayed for the children who will receive them, for the parents who will see joy in their kid's eyes, that the seed of Truth will take root in these lives. We prayed for all the volunteers worldwide who will process and deliver the boxes, some riding camels or donkeys, some driving gift-laden tractors, some paddling canoes to remote villages.

In our small groups of moms, we were able to hold hands with people around the world and make a difference. We gave a little, but received so much more.

Worry Warts and Other Diseases

Now, to be honest, I don't know if this last Mom Time was fun exactly, but I do think it was beneficial. As you know, this semester we have been talking about things that rob us of contentment, or peace. Contentment means not wanting to have or be anything different than what we already have or are. Make sense?

This week, we talked about fear/worry, anger, and guilt. Instead of arming you all with techniques and cute sayings, we fought these three joy stealers with Truth, with scripture. Many of us worry, or give in to fearful thoughts, but did you ever realize that fear and faith both have the same starting point: each expects something to happen. It is the direction we allow those thoughts to go that makes the difference.

The Bible has 366 verses relating to fear, one for each day including leap year. Find one, or a few, to cling to when the middle-of-the-night what-if's are stealing your peaceful night's rest. Here are some to get you started:

• Philippians 4:6
• 2 Timothy 1:7
• Psalm 91
• Joshua 1:9

Maybe you aren't a worrier. Maybe anger is your thing. We had a great discussion on anger in our small group, on whether we are stuffers or venters. When something makes you angry, do you stuff it or blow up? For many of us, it depended on who was getting under our skin. We tend to bottle it up when adults are making us mad, but then blow up at our kids when they do the littlest thing. Psychologists call this the "kick the dog" syndrome, taking it out on someone weaker. Anger alone isn't the problem, it is the sinning that usually accompanies it. If we use our anger the way God intended it to be used, to correct an injustice, the world would be a better place. Usually though, we get angry when things don't go our way. When the kids are misbehaving and ruining our peace and quiet. When our husbands fall short of our expectation. Normal, but not right. Just sayin'....
Here are some scriptures to help you keep your anger in check:

• Proverbs 19:11
• James 1:19
• Ephesians 4:2
• Ephesians 4:31-32

Just when you thought we couldn't have more fun, (read facetiously), we moved on to guilt. Guilt will stop you dead in your happy tracks and remind you that you are no good. That those mistakes you made, the times you yelled at your kids, that time you were creepy to someone who didn't deserve it, are the real you and you should probably just sit down and be quiet. Ok. Is that just me? Guilt is the voice of the enemy trying to drown out the voice of God. The good news? He can't do it if we don't let him. Every single one of us has sinned, has made mistakes, has made poor choices. That is why Jesus came, to rescue us from our sin. Remember, the weight of your sin cannot outweigh the grace of God. If you struggle with guilt, claim these scriptures as your own. God has better for you, and it is time to live in His freedom.

• Psalm 103:12
• 2 Corinthians 5:17
• 1 John 1:9
• Isaiah 43:25

This week was definitely heavy on Bible, but this is where the practical, biblical aspect of Mom Time comes in. Just telling you "don't worry, be happy" really doesn't help. Knowing and claiming the Word of God is where the battle is won. Stand in victory over the things that steal your contentment, my friends. The war has already been won. We just need to live like it.

"He will keep in perfect peace those whose heart is steadfast upon Him."

Isaiah 26:3

Feeling Like Mrs. Potato Head?

Read on...

Age and childbirth do funny things to a body sometimes. Sometimes, not so funny things, lol....gravity and lack of sleep are worthy adversaries. This week in MT, we had a three-fold approach to fashion and beauty.

Denise Schamens shared her expertise in celebrating the figures we have, taming our closets, and dressing to play on our own unique qualities. Click here to view Denise's full presentation.

Shannon Bartz, make-artist by trade, shared tips and secrets with us, making over Tara Frost as part of her presentation. Her advice was similar to Denise's, play to your own color palette.

Luanne Deboth wrapped up our morning with a talk on the Beauty that never fades, Christ. Because we are made in His image, our jean size and facial feautures does not define us. We need to remember that God uniquely designed each one of us according to His plan.

I know I left with a new resolve to get my closets in order, throw away my bacteria filled mascara, and not dwell so much on the outside, but let Jesus make over the inside into His image.

I pray you will find that peace as well.

Window Shopping-10/25/11

Window shopping is that pastime where you go looking at things but not actually buying them. What happens for some of us though is that we end up resenting the fact that we can't have those things, and we stop appreciating what we have in the first place.

This week we talked about envy and jealousy, which are not actually interchangeable words. Envy is wishing we had what someone else has, and jealousy is the fear of losing what we already have. We are focusing this semester on cultivating contentment in this season of life, and envy and jealousy will rob us of contentment faster than anything. By definition, contentment is not wanting anything different than what you have, from material possessions to our families to gifts and talents, just to name a few.

As we talked about, there are many reasons why we envy others:

• Because we are overly concerned with our personal rights. This is where the "I deserve..." thinking comes in.
• Because we take other people's success personally, like it is a strike against us if someone else succeeds.
• Because we just want more. Plain and simple. If a little is good, more is better.
• Because we yearn for status and achievement. This just feeds in to the whole identity issue...I am what I do.

We need to face this sin (because that is what it is) head on. Unchecked envy or jealousy will leave us feeling bitter and resentful and leads to all kinds of ugly behavior. We are not loving our neighbor if we are busy being ugly, right? Don't compare your weakness to someone else's strength. We all have gifts and talents, and if we all had the same one this would be a pretty lopsided world.

Cultivate the joy of giving, whether it is material giving or otherwise. Hold the possessions you do have loosely, being ready to bless someone else as the opportunity arises. Be gracious to those you are actually envious of, and see how that works to transform the way you feel. Feelings follow actions, and if you act decently towards someone you are jealous of, you will feel better about the situation. It's funny how getting to know the rest of the person, not just the quality you wish you had, evens things out.

Choose each day where you will focus your thoughts. Each day we are given a chance to glorify God and live a life of contentment, even when things don't go as we think they should have.

Remember:
"You will live a life of constant discouragement if you feed yourself on what God hasn't done instead of what He has."

Outside Resources:
Facing Your Feelings
Goodbye Old Friend: Asking Jealousy to Leave
A Truly Amazing Race- my story of the triathlon...things did not turn out as planned that day, lol

 

The Business of Busyness-10/18/11

Did you ever feel like if you weren't running in three directions at once you were doing something wrong? The myth that permeates our culture is that we are what we do, as we talked about last week in Identity Theft. That myth often leads us to overcommitting ourselves and losing sight of what really matters.

I challenged everyone to think about why we do what we do, and got a range of answers.

• So it is done right.
• Because I want people to like me.
• Because I feel like I'm supposed to_______________. (Mine was volunteer in the classroom for this one.)
• Because I feel guilty if I say no.

We also tend to overcommit our kids to activities, and before we know it, we've eaten 4 out of 5 weeknight meals in the car trying to get from one thing to the next. Momma's that have kids under two, take note of this. Don't be afraid to be choosy in deciding how to spend your kid's time. In an effort to give our kids every opportunity in life, we sometimes take away the opportunity to let them just be kids and figure out how to have fun on their own.

The key is to figure out what matters, what your goals and priorities are for this season, and use that as your measuring stick. If you find that outside commitments, or even household expectations, are not supporting your goals, then cut them loose.

In the end, this season of motherhood is for a finite period of time. Be intentional about making the most out of it...I always remember the joke about giving a child a huge fabulous gift and they only played in the box it came in. What you are doing with them matters less than the fact that you are doing it with them.

Next Tuesday promises to be hilarious...see you then!

Identity Theft-10/11/11

Click here to download this week's worksheet!

Few things rock our world, and sense of stability, like becoming a mom. At one time, you were capable of finishing complete sentences, watching an entire episode of What Not To Wear, and making decisions that primarily only affected you. Next thing you know, you are responsible for a wiggly little creature who has no respect for your schedule, needs, and sense of self. You have become "THE MOM" (insert deep booming voice here!). Going to the bathroom with the door closed and showering on a daily basis have been relegated to the list of luxuries. Eating a chocolate bar all by yourself might require a trip to the laundry room.

In your BC (before children) life, you may have identified yourself by your job position, and choosing to stay home with the kiddoes forces us to reevaluate who we are. We can't allow ourselves to be defined by anything other than the way Christ sees us. To use worldly statuses of income, position, success, or appearance leaves us standing on shaky ground.

I have been known to glance in the mirror and not recognize myself. I would think, I used to be funny. I used to be smart. I used to speak in complete sentences and not sigh so much. Where did I go? But, I also know that God is using my kids, all five of them, to shape me into the woman He has in mind for me to be. He will use the kids to reveal what is going on in my heart, things like self-centeredness, pride, and impatience, and help me to deal with them.

And in this season, He will lead me toward a love that is greater than anything I ever experienced. I will feel the joy of watching a little helpless baby grow into their own unique creation, and in that, I will taste a little bit of what He feels for me. And for you.

Practically speaking though, you will thrive in this season if you make sure to get adequate rest. Don't feel guilty if you didn't clean the house because you needed a nap. Take time to do something you enjoy, even if it is just taking five minutes to listen to a song that refreshed you on your ipod. Get outside for some fresh air, even if there is laundry that needs folding. Think of the airplane analogy: you have to put your own air mask on before you can help those around you.

It's ok. You're the mom now.

Mom Time Kicks Off!

Today was our first day of Mom Time, and if I do say so myself, I think it went pretty well. We had a great morning of getting to know each other with an icebreaker called Speed Dating...lots of random questions designed to dig a little deeper. After breaking into small groups, there was an icebreaker involving candy, so what's not to like about that?

I know I speak for the whole team when I say I'm so excited about the great turn-out today. If I had to guess, I would say it was almost an even match of new faces and returning (I didn't say old!) friends. We are looking forward to walking this journey of motherhood with you through this next year of Mom Time. We will use this blog to post the weekly lesson content, with some added resources. If I can figure it out, you'll be able to click and listen to the teaching if you missed it. Also, if you are on Facebook, send a request to join our Fox River Mom Time FB group.

Thanks so much for joining us!

Mom Time Starts Soon!

Hey there, Mama's! We are in the final planning stages for this next semester of Mom Time, and I am so excited! Being a mom is a huge privilege and responsibility, and can sometimes be overwhelming. (I realize I'm preaching to the choir here!)

As a church, Fox River will be focusing on the "i Will's" of following Jesus. While we won't be engaging on this topic at the same level as a traditional Journey group, we will be looking at our lives as moms to see how we can impact the world around us. We will also take a look at things that rob us of contentment and joy in this time, and explore the antidote to those things.

Wondering what I'm talking about? Join us and experience it for yourself! You can sign up for Mom Time by clicking here. We meet every Tuesday from 9:30-11:00, October 4th-December 13th. Paid childcare is available and you can sign up for that online, too.

Here is what a typical Mom Time morning looks like:
9:20-9:30: Arrive and put kids in nursery
9:30-9:45: Snack and chat time, coffee and continental type breakfast provided
9:45-10:00: Welcome, announcements, and ice breaker time
10:00-10:30: Teaching Time
10:30-11:00: Break into small groups for discussion

If you haven't already read it, click here to learn more about Mom Time.

Need Some Mom Time?

Aaahh...motherhood.

Cooing babies, giggling toddlers, children playing happily...

(Insert deep contented sigh here.)

Ok, so it does happen sometimes. But at other times, crying babies, willful toddlers, and children wrestling one another to the ground to snatch that toy back...that would be a more accurate representation. Either way, though, you are the mama. The one in charge.

As wonderful and amazing as being a mom is, sometimes we just need a chance to step back, take a breather, and hang out with people who get it. And at Mom Time, we get it.

As a leadership team, we have 22 kids between the 6 of us, ranging in age from 3 to 24. One of us is even a grandma, so when I say we get it, we really get it.

Join us this semester as we explore what God had in mind when He made you a mom, no matter how that came to be, whether through birth, adoption, fostering, or step-parenting. We will talk about contentment, things that threaten it, and how to get it. I promise we will share some laughs as well as practical help for dealing with the different issues as moms.

You can register for Mom Time at the Journey table in the gym or by clicking here. (We are #18 on the list.) See you October 4th!

Almost Time...

For Mom Time, that is! Mom Time kicks off October 4th at 9:30...watch for sign-up information at church or here on the blog. I will post a link as soon as we are able. Now is the time to start telling your friends and setting aside Tuesday mornings in your schedule. We look forward to connecting with "old" friends and making some new ones. In the meantime, go squeeze some more fun out of these last warm days...See you soon!

Mission Accomplished (Sort Of!)

The culmination of our semester is upon us. We hope we have inspired you to see motherhood as the God-given calling it is. For this final teaching lesson, we encouraged you to write a mission statement to help you define what is important to you, instead of just going through the day trying to make it until bedtime.
Here are the steps we went through to begin our mission statements:

1.    Pray: Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.  Psalm 127:1

2.    List your roles, then put them in order of importance to you.

a.    Things you do

b.    Things you are

c.    Then, Simplify!

3.    Dream and Define!

a.    Think about your dream goal for this role

b.    Ask yourself what you want others to say about you in this role (Think obituary here, as morbid as that sounds)

4.    Create Action Statements: What will you accomplish in each role?

a.    Write in the present tense

b.    Find a verse to accompany it, if you wish

c.    Should be a challenge, a chance to grow from where you are today.

5.    When you’re done:

a.    Post it where you will see it

b.    Measure your life against it

c.    Review and revise it regularly

Remind yourself that “I AM NOT WHO I WILL BE!” You are in the act of becoming, a change in the making, and remember, your change and growth are not only a product of your own strength and determination, but also God’s grace. Align yourself with Him and step into the flow.

Welcome to your revolution!

Roles	Action Verbs	Adjectives/Adverbs
Christian	Develop	Consistently
Wife	Maintain	Loving
Mom	Pursue	Safe
Writer	Learn	Simply
Teacher	Provide	Purposefully
Friend	Create	Inspiring

 A great resource for writing a mission statement is an e-book available for free on a mom-focused blog called http://inspiredtoaction.com/  which is where I got the worksheets from that we used.

When you make your mission statement, leave a comment and tell us what it is!

Easter Ideas for the Kids

Hey there! Here are the promised Easter "recipes" from Jenn. The first is to make resurrection eggs out of plastic eggs. The second is for resurrection buns, yummy treats that bake up hollow signifying the empty tomb. Let's remind the kids that Easter is about more than chocolate for breakfast and fluffy bunnies!

Resurrection Eggs

1. Palm leaf

Mark 11:7-9  When they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks over it, he sat on it.  Many people spread their cloaks on the road, while others spread branches they had cut in the fields.  Those who went ahead and those who followed shouted, “Hosanna!”  “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”

2. Dimes

Matthew 26:14-16  Then one of the Twelve-the one called Judas Iscariot-went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?”  So they counted out for him thirty silver coins.  From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.

3. Communion cup

Matthew 26:26-28  While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying “Take and eat; this is my body.”  Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you.  This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.

4. Praying hands

Mark 14:32-42  They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit Here while I pray.”  He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled.  “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them.  “Stay here and keep watch.” 

Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him.  “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you.  Take this cup from me.  Yet not what I will, but what you will.” 

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping.  “Simon,” he said to Peter, “are you asleep?  Could you not keep watch for one hour?  Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”

Once more he went away and prayed the same thing.  When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy.  They did not know what to say to him.

Returning the third time, he said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting?  Enough!  The hour has come.  Look, the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.  Rise!  Let us go!  Here comes my betrayer!”

5. Leather strip

Mark 15:15  Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas to them.  He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.

6. Crown & Purple cloth

John 19:1-5  Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged.  The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head.  They clothed him in a purple robe and went up to him again and again, saying, “Hail, king of the Jews!” 

7. Nail

Luke 23:32-33  Two other men, both criminal, were also led out with him to be executed.  When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals-one on his right, the other on his left.

8. Black cloth

Luke 23:44-46  It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, for the sun stopped shining.  And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.  Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”  When he had said this, he breathed his last.

9. Spear

John 19:33-34  But when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs.  Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water.

10. Linen cloth

Matthew 27:57-60  As evening approached; there came a rich man from Arimathea, named Joseph, who had himself become a disciple of Jesus.  Going to Pilate, he asked for Jesus’ body, and Pilate ordered that it be given to him.  Joseph took the body, wrapped it in a clean linen cloth, and placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock.  He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away.

11. Stone

Matthew 28:1-2  After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.  There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it.

12. Empty

Matthew 28:5-8  The angel said to the women, “do not be afraid , for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.  He is not here; he has risen, just as he said.  Come and see the place where he lay.  Then go quickly and tell his disciples:  ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee.  There you will see him.’  How I have told you.”  So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples.

Resurrection Buns

Frozen bread dough

Butter

24 large marshmallows

1 cup sugar

2 teaspoons cinnamon

Let the frozen dough thaw.

Melt the butter.

In a separate bowl, mix the sugar and cinnamon together.

Divide dough into 24 uniform balls.  Roll each ball out until flat.  Wrap each flattened ball around a marshmallow, making sure to seal all openings.  Dip the ball in melted butter, then in the sugar and cinnamon mixture.

Place in a large, greased baking pan.  Cover and let rise until double (about 35 minutes).  Bake at 375 degrees for 18-20 minutes.

 



A Big Pot of Stew

Who doesn't love a good stew...especially here in the northern climates? I am picturing a big pot bubbling on the stove of some beef, carrots, potatoes, onions (don't tell the kids...), topped off with homemade dumplings. Stew definitely makes my top ten favorite foods.

There's another kind of stew, and I'm not talking about chicken. I'm talking about a big cauldron of "I can't believe you...", "and then he..." with a little bit of "how dare you..." thrown in for good measure. I'm talking about the kind of stewing we do when things don't go our way. We rehash. We think of everything we should have said, and will definitely say next time it comes up. We simmer with the lid barely on, just waiting for the right time to spill our bubbly mess all over the one who has it coming. As I write this, I am picturing a pot of potatoes almost ready to boil over, starchy water caked on the outside of the pot, the lid jiggling in anticipation of sending angry torrents of water all over my stove. I hate that kind of mess because it just gets everywhere.

Kind of like stewing about something does. But I'll be honest...I used to like the stewing about something almost as much as the eatin' kind of stew. I am a natural brooder. I chalk it up to my highly analytical, need-to-be-right nature, so I know firsthand what a mess stewing makes. I used to stew for just the right amount of time...long enough to make the other person feel bad, which was the goal, but not long enough that they got mad back at me and I ended up having to apologize for stewing. Which I wouldn't have had to do if they didn't deserve it in the first place...can you just see the stainless steel lid on my head starting to jiggle with the threat of boiling over again.

The antidote is forgiveness, plain old grace. It is choosing (yes, Virginia, there is a choice) to look past the offense. Not easy, I know. Sometimes the easiest explanations are the hardest to implement. It is remembering that love covers a multitude of sins...his, mine, and ours. Focusing on the whatever's is a good place to start too. Whatever is good, true, noble, praiseworthy, parking your mind on these things instead of the not so good stuff that seems to be more readily available sometimes. Choose to see the positive, regularly, and the negative starts to fade. Not because it isn't there, but because you aren't always looking for it. Make a habit of pointing out one good thing, every day, about the people who drive you nuts. Soon you will see them in a different light.

Like Luanne and Jon taught this week, marriage takes work. A good solid marriage is intentional. It requires feeding and nurturing, like raising a child. Consider all the work we put into raising our kids to make sure they turn out just right, but how much conscious effort do we put into our marriages? Let's practice good communication and friendship building with the relationship that is supposed outlast all others this side of heaven.

I pray that as you go forward, you will see your husband in a new light, with less bubbling going on under  your lid...

 p.s. Moving on isn't always easy. I posted a devotional on forgiveness over on my personal blog. Click here to read it.

For Better or Worse

Luanne Glass, Director of Women't Ministry, taught the first week of a two part series on marriage. Marriage is one of those places in life guaranteed to show you your weak spots. It can also be a refuge, a safe place to flourish, learn, and grow.

She gave us some tools to use that will apply whether you have been married one year or fifty, and tools that are practical enough to apply to other relationships as well.

• Recognize that we can't change our husbands, only ourselves. Most conflict occurs because we are all selfish. We want what we want when we want it, and now there is an equal partner with the same feelings, but we don't want the same thing. What's a girl to do? Seek God. Seek to understand. Learn to put your own desires second.
• Remember that we are not the same. God has wired us differently, from the way we look to the way we think, process, and communicate. Men take up to 7 hours to process something that we can sort through in just a few minutes. That doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with them, but their gears shift differently. It's not a bad thing...can you imagine if both of us made decisions without a cooling off period, for good or bad scenarios?
• Build up your husband instead of tearing him down, especially in front of other people. It is not God-honoring or respectful to your husband to make him the butt of a joke with your friends.
• Pray for his strengths and your weaknesses. Keep your focus on the things you need to work on instead of his shortcomings. When you do focus on the positive, it reroutes the circuits in your brain and cuts down on the ugly nagging chatter that can fill your head when your frustrated. (Or is that just me...?)
• Being designated as his "helper" is not a secondary role. The Holy Spirit was given to us as a "helper", and is our connection to communication with God. Obviously being in a "helper" role is very important, so lean into it. You will be blessed.

Here are some outside links to marriage:

• We will have the book Sacred Influence for sale for $10 at the cart.
• Shelley Gallamore blogged about 10 Things About Marriage here.
• Elmbrook Church is hosting a Love and Respect Conference. Check out the details here.
• Luanne mentioned the boxes in men's brains. Here is the video on that:

The best gift you can give your kids is to love their dad and model that for them. It is not easy, but it is totally worth the effort. Next week Pastor Jon Glass, Luanne's husband, will join us for Mom Time, and give us some insight into the men's perspective.

Thank You For Being a Friend...

This past week we learned about friendship in Mom Time. In case you missed, or just need a refresher, here is the acronym we came up with:
F: Be First-reach out to others first
R: Be Readily Available-make time for your friends
I: Be Inclusive-lose the clique!
E: Expect Trouble-be ready for frustration occasionally and assume the best
about your friends.
N: Know Me-be real and transparent
D: Diversify! All of your friends don't need to be the same.
S: Be Second-Be more concerned with your friend's needs than your own.

We should all have a few categories of friends:

• Friends who sharpen: Those friends will always encourage us to be better, and challenge us when we need it.
• Friends who mentor: Titus 2:2-4 is all about older women leading younger women in the art of marriage, childrearing, and Christian living. "Older" may not necessarily be in age, but in wisdom.
• Friends who need friends: Be on the look out for the new person to the group, or perhaps someone with a need that you can meet.
• Friends who need salvation: It is easy after attending the same church, school, and recreational activities for a number of years to get caught in the holy huddle. While there is nothing more fun to me than hanging out with my girlfriends telling awesome God stories, evangelizing to each other does little to further the Kingdom. If we are all pointing our lights inward, there is a great darkness left untouched. Shine your light outward, and look for friends who don't know Jesus. Yet.
• Friends we need to leave: Occasionally we have a friend who brings out all of the worst in us, who doesn't see life the same way, and isn't interested in "getting it." After prayerful consideration, that might be a friend to not hang out with for a while. I would challenge you that the example you set might go further than standing in the pit with them.

I read a blog by a friend about what Proverbs has to say about friendship. You can check that out here. I pray that as you pursue friendships in life, you are blessed with some girlfriends who just "get you." There is a richness and bond in the sisterhood of Christian friendship that just fills me up to overflowing. Knowing that I have friends I can pray with, who will stand with me in prayer, holding my arms up when I get tired, is a comfort and a joy to me. I pray that you will find that too.

“Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that's in you; love him with all you've got!  Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.”                           Deuteronomy 6:5-9 MSG

At Mom Time this week, guest speaker Shelley Gallamore talked about discipline of our children. Biblical Discipline is a 2 part process that must both train the child to be obedient and address the heart issues that cause disobedience.  The above verse from Deuteronomy talks about the best way to achieve this process with our kids – by living out our beliefs alongside and with our kids. We cannot make discipline something that happens for a specific moment of the day, we must make it a part of all we do throughout the day.

Teaching your kids within the context of their life gives you the opportunity to help your child translate the facts you are giving him from his mind to his mouth and hands. It places the knowledge in context and shows a child how it can be applied. As your children see you learning, growing and living as a follower of Christ, they will better understand how to live as a follower of Christ.

But, how do you teach a young child about the bible? Taken from the book Teach Them Diligently by Lou Priolo, here is some practical advice.

• 1.       Extend teaching opportunities beyond the moment of incidence. If your child asks a question or has an experience which you are not immediately able to relate to scripture, do a little research and bring it back later that day or the next.
• 2.       Be sure to use vocabulary your child will understand. Break down complex and abstract theological terminology into more age appropriate, easily understood concepts.
• 3.       Keep conversations relatively short depending on your child’s attention span. If more time is needed, try for several short conversations at a pace the child is comfortable with.
• 4.       Use role-play to apply what you are talking about with your child. Especially when you are talking about what could have been done differently or what should be done in an upcoming event; this allows you to test their understanding and makes the lesson much more practical.
• 5.       Encourage questions.  Many parents get all shook up when their kids ask questions because they are unsure of the answers. Don’t be afraid to learn alongside your children by looking up and thinking through their questions.
• 6.       Teach in the context of a loving relationship. A good teacher is personally involved with the student. Your relationship with your child should include plenty of one-on-one communication time and assurances of love. This type of environment is essential to create an atmosphere of trust.
• 7.       Use child- oriented videos, CD’s, DVD’s and books to help teach biblical concepts. There are so many great materials available now that will help fill your child’s mind with scripture. These resources can be very effective in helping your child internalize God’s word and will make learning much more enjoyable. 

If I Could Put Time In a Bottle...

It is highly possibly that Sherry Judy will be the only one that could finish this song, so that was for you, girlfriend! Regardless if you know this song from the 1970's, this points directly to our lesson this week. Time is the one thing we really can't put in a bottle and save for another day. Each day comes to us fresh with possibilities, but never shows up again. We are often far more intentional with how we spend our money, which is a semi-renewable resource, than how we spend our time.

This week in MT we discussed the traps of overcommitment, disorganization, and just plain old time-wasters, and how the enemy will use these to his full advantage. The number one challenge of most women with families to tend to is not enough time, which is a lie.

Now, before you get in a huff and call me nuts and think "She has no idea how much I have to do everyday", know that I am not judging. I am holding the door wide open to a biblical truth though...

I have time to do everything that God wants me to do.

That radical idea comes straight from the Bible, which we already know is the ultimate source of truth and perspective.

• God made time.
• God made you.
• God has a plan for you in this time.

Consider if the things you are filling your time with are investments that lead you to the goals you've set for your family and yourself. Do the goals you've set for yourself honor your family? I talked Tuesday about training for the Danskin Triathlon last summer. Two workouts five days each week don't leave a lot of time to think about anyone else's needs but my own, and while it was fun and hugely rewarding, it isn't something I should make a priority every summer.

I know I have a habit of being reactive instead of proactive throughout my day. Here's a practical tip I found in the book Shopping for Time by the Girl Talk Blog Girls: practice the 15:4 rule. Spending 15 minutes planning and thinking through your activities will save you four hours of wasted time. Also, when you sit down and write out your list of things you need to get done, do the one you are most likely to avoid first.

Some advice from the book is how to handle busy seasons, because some times of our lives are just plain old hectic. Shopping For Time breaks down priorities like this:

1. Separate the really-do-matter things from the really-don't-matter items. The first priority would be spending time with Jesus in the morning. That might be a devotional reading, or even just seeing what the Klove verse of the day is and pondering that throughout your day. Get a word from the Word. Then, ask what one thing would please your husband. Next, what one issue in my children's life needs attention today. Last, food and laundry. If they have a meal and clean clothes, you have met their basic needs for today.
2. Simplify: Ask how you can make each task easier...paper plates, utilize the dry cleaners occasionally, grab a $5 pizza for dinner. Lower your expectation of yourself for this busy season.
3. Size Up your limitations. Remember that only God is God. You will not live a life of perfection, and allow yourself to be ok with this.

This is just a quick reminder to value the time you have and to not clutter it up like a junk drawer in the kitchen. Figure out what needs to stay, what should go, and what could be done by someone else. Challenge yourself to make one change. If you are not yet connecting to God, make that your priority. Proverbs 31 sends out a devotional each morning to the emails that you can subscribe to through their website. Don't be intimidated by the idea. God is a great big God waiting to meet you where you are at today, just the way you are.

Getting up before the family will help you focus on your upcoming day without distraction. I found a blog called http://www.inspiredtoaction.com/ be a good encouraging resource. Inspired To Action is all about living proactively, and she has a free e-book that you can download by clicking here to start your mornings out right. Check it out if you want.

I will be praying that God will fill each of you with all wisdom of His plan for you, that you will be growing in your knowledge of Him, that you will be strengthened with all power that gives endurance and patience for this life He has set you in. (Colossians 1:9-11). You can do this, girlfriends, with God's help.

What's For Dinner? (Teaching Topic 2/15)

Last week we talked about creating an environment in our homes through our "stuff", and how we value the people there. This week it was all about one of my favorite subjects...food! Food has the power to connect one generation to another, through the memories associated with certain recipes, and the way it can bring us all to the same place at the same time...the dinner table.

Getting organized in our grocery habits is about more than just being efficient and cost-effective, it is about having a plan so that (there's that phrase again...) we can use the opportunity of dinner to grow closer to our kids and establish our own traditions. At my house, I ask two questions during dinner: what was the best part of your day and what was the worst thing. It gives every member a chance to contribute to the conversation and feel like a valued part of the family. There are Dinner Table Games that you can play. You can involve your kids in the meal preparation and improve the chances that they will eat what you are serving.

Some practical helps we discussed were planning menus for the week, freezing meals ahead to help us when life's little challenges come up, different resources to tap into. I'm proud to tell you that I just wrote out menus for the next week after checking what food I already had on hand to work with, made a grocery list, and clipped coupons. Now I just need to get to the grocery store...

Some of my own favorite tips are:

• Freeze leftovers in individual meal sizes. Perfect for my husband's lunch or those nights when we all feel like something different.
• Make a double batch of taco meat or sloppy joes and freeze on a cookie sheet by the scoop, then put in a ziploc bag when frozen. Only use what you need. (I do this with cookie dough, too, but have a tendency to eat the frozen cookie dough balls...)
• Planned leftovers...making a roast one day and turning it into a soup or sandwich fixin's the next day; making BBQ chicken breasts on the grill and using the leftovers for salad or quesadillas.
• Always have supplies for your favorite go-to meal on hand. Ours, or at least mine, is a box of pancake mix and syrup. I usually have a jar of canned potatoes too, so I can make a quick breakfast for dinner meal.

I like to have a plan, but not necessarily a daily one to follow. Some days we might not feel like eating what is on the schedule, and that's alright. The goal is to not stress out about dinner, not to be tied to a rigid schedule. Statistics and studies show that the act of simply eating dinner together does all kinds of good, from kids reading better in school to teens having a lower incidence of drug use and teen pregnancy. We teach our kids our faith and customs through the family dinner table as well. 

I hope you are inspired to reach out to your family and others through food...whether it is inviting company over for a meal, packing up a meal for someone in need, or nurturing your own family. Can't wait to hear your cooking stories!

Some Favorite Recipes:

Mushroom Hamburgers (from Jamie Jewell)

1 pound ground beef
4 T cream of mushroom soup  (reserve the rest of the soup for the sauce)
2/3 c. dry bread crumbs
2 T minced onions
1 T minced parsley
1 egg

Mix all ingredients in a bowl.  Shape into patties and brown in skillet.  While browning, add 1/4 c water to the rest of the soup. Pour over patties and cook for 10 minutes.  (This is really good served over rice.)

Puff Pizza  (from Michele Dutkiewicz)


3 cans (7.5 oz each) buttermilk biscuits
1.5 cups (14 ounces) spaghetti or pizza sauce
3 cups (12 ounces) shredded mozzarella cheese
1 clove garlic, pressed
Optional toppings: onions, olives, pepperoni, muchrooms, bacon, ham

Preheat oven to 375; in a bowl, quarter biscuits with scissors.  Stir in 1 cup of sauce and 2 cups of cheese.  Press garlic clove with garlic press and add to biscuit mixture.  Add optional ingredients if desired; mix to combine.  Spread mixture into 9x13 inch glass or stone dish.  Pour remaining sauce and cheese over top.  Could add toppings at that time also.  Bake for 30 minutes or until sides are golden brown

Taco Pie (from Michele Dutkiewicz)

8 oz grated cheddar cheese
1 8 oz. pkg crescent roll
1 lb. ground turkey
1 T beef bouillion granules
1 chopped onion
1 chopped green pepper
salt and pepper to taste
6 oz. tomato paste
3/4 c water
1 pkg taco seasoning

Press crescent rolls into greased pan.  Bake at 400 for 10 minutes.  Brown meat, add bouillion, water, taco seasoning, and all other ingredients except cheese.  Simmer.  Spread 1/2 of meat mix on crescent roll.  Layer 1/2 of cheese, then meat, then cheese.  Bake at 400 an additional 10 minutes until cheese melts.

Busy Woman Pepper Steak  (from Angie Karklus)


2 lb. beef stew meat
2 cans Campbell's French Onion Soup
3 green peppers, cut in strips
15 oz can tomatoes

Place all ingredients into slow cooker.  Cook on low for 8 hours.  Stir in instant ric the last 10 minutes to thicken.

Baked Linguini with Meat Sauce (from Becky Thomas and Southern Living :)


2 lbs ground beef
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 - 28 oz crushed tomatoes
1-  8 oz  tomato sauce
1 - 6 oz tomato paste
1 t salt
2 t sugar
8 oz linguine
1 - 16 oz sour cream
1 - 8 oz cream cheese
1 bunch green onions, chopped
2 c shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Cook beef and garlic in dutch oven.  Stir in tomatoes and the next 4 ingredients; simmer for 30 minutes.  Set mixture aside.  Cook pasta and drain.  Place pasta in lightly greased 13 x 9 dish.  Stir together sour cream, cream cheese, and onions; spread over pasta.  Top with meat sauce.  Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.  Sprinkle with cheddar cheese and bake until the cheese  melts.  Let stand 5 minutes.

Happy Valentine's Day, FLYlady Style

Here are some Valentine thoughts from the FLYlady, via Becky:

LOVE MAKES A HOUSE A HOME!
I have seen this come up from time to time, but this morning it was a God Breeze. With the New Year, I want us to focus on ways we can show or family our love for them. And I don't mean saying those 3 words either. What can we DO! Do is an action word. So what action can we take that will convey to our family that we love them.
I am going to brainstorm a bit here.
1. By dressing and looking presentable to them at all times. Kids are sometimes embarrassed by the way we don't take care of ourselves; looking slouchy when we take them to school and other places. Have you
ever heard these words, Mom please stay in the car, I can go in by myself. The kids won't tell you why they want you to stay behind. If you look good to yourself, your children are going to be so proud of you.  Try it!
2. We can show our family we love them by not raising our voices and having a sharp tongue. When we let those loud ugly words fly out of our mouths, we can't bring them back and change how those word hurt. So choose your tone and words carefully. You will find as the clutter leaves your home, the stressed out attitudes will be gone too. Practice talking in a quiet voice, it is so hard to yell or say nasty things, when we are whispering.
3. Put a smile on your face, even if something is not good, let the smile be your first defense for those bad, hurtful thoughts you are having. After a while that smile with turn your sad feelings into nice ones. If you don't believe me, prove me wrong!
4. Compliment your family, not as a whole, but one at a time. Focus on the positive things that they are doing, don't reinforce the negative ones. Put little thank you notes in lunch boxes or where they can find
them. Tell them just how proud you are of them.
5. Show them you love them, by doing something that they hate to do: Empty the dishwasher, putting away laundry or make their bed.
6. This one simple thing, means more than anything else. Keep the laundry done and put away. Nothing says I love you, like having clean underwear and socks to put on. Don't just wash and dry it, then leave
it in the baskets all wadded up. No one likes a scavenger hunt just to get dressed in the morning. Laundry is just a routine, once you establish the habit, your family will always feel loved. Now if your children are responsible for their own laundry, then do a load for them occasionally. It won't kill you.
7. The smell of something cooking on the stove, says I love you too. Plan your menus, fix things that your family loves. Make mealtime a special time. Set a lovely table, teach your children how to set the table and proper table manners. If you don't know them yourself, then get a book and make a game of it. All of you can learn together. Proper table manners will give your children the boost that they need to feel confident at those dinner meetings with the boss and co-workers in the future. They may not think much of it now, but when they are grown, they will have the experience and will thank you for it.
8. Keep your living room, entrance and kitchen presentable for company at all times. I am not saying it has to be spotless, just not looking cluttered. Children and husbands get embarrassed when they live in a house that they can't bring their friends to. They may not tell you, but they tend to go to their homes to play and not to their own. Wouldn't you rather have them where you know where they are instead of out
doing things that you can not supervise.
9. Give your family little rewards for jobs well done. Pats on the back, hugs and yes even kisses. So many times we forget to show our affection for our family, because we are just to busy to stop and throw your arms around them.
10. Brag on your husband to friends, It will get back to them. I promise. There is nothing like seeing your husband come home strutting, because he heard something you said nice about him.
11. Keep their favorite treats in the house. I know this can be a problem with those of us that tend to over indulge. But showing that you love them by not eating up their goodies as well as showing yourself that you can do it. I got a handle on this, by freezing the goodies. LOL It is hard to eat a bite-sized candy bar that is hard as a brick bat.
You have joined our group to get your home organized. I'll bet you never dreamed that we would take this approach to cleaning your house. Before you know it, the bad habits will be put aside and new habits will be forming. It is a form of FLY Washing. I have found that if we concentrate on you, the house will fall into place. So go get dressed to shoes and fix your hair and face. Put a smile on your face, a whisper to your voice and watch your family bloom right in front of you.